Polish Ham: I'm fun. What will the people think?

I know many people have fantasies about quitting their jobs and traveling the world, but I am guessing that most people do not do this. At least, I don’t know the people who do this. It’s foolish. It’s irresponsible. It’s un-adult. Grow up.

For someone who has led a life being sensible and responsible and career-driven, how was I going to tell everyone that I was quitting my job and giving up everything for the chance to have some fun in Europe—without them thinking I have lost my mind?

I started off by telling Dan. Having dated me for four years and knowing me for much longer, Dan is used to hearing about my ever-changing fantasies of things I want to do. From traveling to Poland to opening my own bake shop to becoming a florist, he has heard it all, and stopped paying attention to my here-by-day, gone-by-night plans and ambitions. So when I told him that I wanted to quit my job and travel for a while, I don’t think he took me seriously at first. It was only when I started talking about it non—stop and asking him questions about our financial ramifications (we live together after all) that he understood that this was different. And he was immediately supportive. (For those wondering why he isn’t coming with me--I initially asked him to come--but he declined due to his commitment to his job working for a city councilman).

Slowly and surely, I started telling some friends. The more people I told, the more real the trip felt. Hila and Adam were elated by the news and that their test produced life-changing results for someone else. Brett and his wife Emily, lovers of all things fun, also very excited. Danielle, my former marathon training partner, impressed by my trip, hooked me up with her friend who lives in Germany. Katie, who used to work with me at the magazine and recently changed jobs (making some big life changes of her own), congratulated me for moving forward with my dreams. This time, when someone congratulated me, it felt right.

Friends are easy. Family is another story.

My sister Annette would be the first to hear the news. Over the phone, I told her I was thinking about quitting my job and traveling to Eastern Europe, and I was 90% sure that I was going through with it. The other end of the line went silent. Not exactly the response I wanted.

“How are you going to tell Mom?” Annette finally asked, shock in her voice, “She is going to be so upset with you. Leaving your great job, traveling alone, you know she will worry. I wish I could be a fly on the wall on that conversation.”

Annette was right. My mom is an extremely loving and generous person. But she is also the biggest worrywart/hypochondriac that every existed. If I call her on the phone and I cough, she assumes I have pneumonia and doesn’t believe me when I tell her there isn’t anything wrong. I had to go to the doctor often as a child, so I think she thinks I am so fragile, I am bound to break (or bleed or get cancer or die) any day now.

After the call with my sister, I started to worry about telling my mom. I knew I would go through with the trip whether she approved or not, but I desperately wanted her to be okay with it, for her to understand that this would make me happy. I am as likely to suffer a serious disease or death while sitting in my work cubicle in New York City as I am walking the streets of Krakow. And if that were to happen, I would rather be doing the latter. I was also worried that she would be the one to tell me that my idea was foolish, that I was throwing my life away, that I was an idiot for leaving my wonderful family and boyfriend and friends and job to become a lazy traveling bum.

But she didn’t say that. When I told her, I was so nervous, I shook and stuttered and cried like a child, as if I were admitting a terrible crime. She replied:

“Yvonne, you don’t have to ask me for permission to live your life. You are an adult.”

I knew that.

“And if this is what you want to do and this will make you happy, then I am completely supportive. All I want is for you to be happy.”

Then she added, “Of course, I will worry, but I will worry about you no matter where you are.”

I came to realize that all the fears and anxiety for that conversation with my mom—and all the things I thought she would say—were not a reflection of her thoughts and feelings, but a reflection of my own.

By summer, I told everyone (except my co-workers) about the trip and everyone immediately responded with support. Even people who I thought would criticize, like my older relatives and my stepfather, were fine with it all. But then again, once someone's make a decision that comes from the heart, what's to criticize?